Birdfeed

Finally, it ended being shower, followed by catnap, then chocobo licence.

And off to...

Er...

Where do I apply for a licence?

Asking the locals, I was quickly given the lowdown on the different areas of Jeuno, from the port on the lowest level, to the political district at the top of the tower. Hmm... knowing I'm dealing with a bureaucrat matter, might as well check my embassy first.

...And knowing I was dealing with a bureaucrat matter, I steeled myself for hours of no-fun-at-all.

Deskclerk >> Hello-taru? How can I help you?
Coeurl >> Yes... I'd like to inquire about...
Coeurl >> ...wait up, I've got it on the tip of my tongue...
Deskclerk >> Chocobo Riding Licence registration form?

Coeurl is flabberghasted!

Coeurl >> How the heck did you guess that?
Deskclerk >> Well, it's not that hard, really.
Deskclerk >> Not a lot of people come up here
Deskclerk >> unless they are rank 3 adventurers on a mission
Deskclerk >> or fresh adventurers looking to acquire their licence.
Coeurl >> Alright, I'll take one registration form please!
Deskclerk >> I'm sorry, we don't have those on hand here.
Coeurl >> ...
Coeurl >> I am so not surprised...
Deskclerk >> Oh, don't worry-horry, it's not hard to get.
Deskclerk >> All you need to do is ask Brutus,
Deskclerk >> he's the caretaker at the Upper Jeuno stables.
Coeurl >> ...And then what?
Deskclerk >> And then I don't know, Brutus's in charge of the licences.
Deskclerk >> Why don't you go talk to him?
Coeurl >> Grrreat... Thanks for the 'help'
Deskclerk >> ...I hate my job...

And so began what I believed was a long trail of tracking down different people in order to get my licence. Oh, I so wish that was the case. Finding my way to Upper Jeuno wasn't too hard, though I started fearing having to run up and down those damned staircases all day long to get my due. It was a lively Brutus I met that day, peppy and full of energy. ...Sure beats having to deal with grumpy people when filing paperwork.

Brutus >> Hello there, young lady!
Coeurl >> Um... hi. I'm here for...
Brutus >> Chocobo Riding Licence, eh? You've come to the right place!
Coeurl >> Eh...
Brutus >> I'd be glad to give you one, but there's only one itch.
Coeurl >> ...I doubt that was unexpected.
Brutus >> Don't worry, my dear, it's a small formality.
Brutus >> You see, we've had a boom in business lately
Brutus >> so we had to acquire a lot of new chocobos.
Brutus >> However, some of them are... iffy at best.
Coeurl >> And that concerns me... how?
Brutus >> We need new adventurers to learn how to tame chocobos
Coeurl >> ...Wait! I ain't riding a wild one, am I?!
Brutus >> Hehehehe... I'm having nothing of the sort young lady.
Brutus >> We need new applicants to bond with chocobos.
Brutus >> That way, the birds tend to be less capricious.
Coeurl >> ...I suppose there's no other way to go about this, huh?
Brutus >> Well, there's that guy I know who'd like to get a date...

Coeurl coils back in shock!

Brutus >> Hehehe, just kiddin', young lady! Just kiddin'!
Brutus >> No, there's no getting around this exercise.
Coeurl >> ...okay... What do you have me do then?
Brutus >> See that chocobo in the corner over there?
Coeurl >> ...yah?
Brutus >> I want you to feed it 3 Gausebit Grass.
Coeurl >> ...and then what?
Brutus >> Then I issue you a riding licence!
Coeurl >> ...THAT'S IT?!?
Brutus >> Yup!
Coeurl >> I thought there would be more to it.
Brutus >> Oh, no worries there, that task is plenty enough.
Coeurl >> Bah, I remember feeding dhalmels back when I was young.
Coeurl >> How can feeding a chocobo be that more difficult?
Brutus >> Feel free to give it a try.
Coeurl >> Ok, so where's that Gausebit Grass I need to feed it?
Brutus >> ...Oh, about that... We're out of stock.
Coeurl >> WHAT!!!
Brutus >> I'm sure there are some on the Auction House
Brutus >> But our budget doesn't allow us to make purchases from there.

...What a wily way to get chocobos fed for free. And have less of a job to do around the stables as well. I mean, if adventurers are doing the job for them on a regular basis, and providing the food at their own expense... That means old man Brutus has nothing to do all day long. No wonder he's so cheery and peppy! ...But hey, if all it takes for me to get that licence is to feed three lousy Gausebit Grasses to that lousy chocobo, then that's what I'll do. Checking the Auction House, I saw plenty of those grasses on sale, though they weren't cheap. No wonder Brutus said that can't fit in his stables' budget.

So back to the stables I went, presenting the Gausebit Grass to the chocobo... Somehow, Brutus picked one of the worst chocobos of the bunch, as I was repetitively pecked at! I almost lost an eye that day! I ran back to my mog house, tending to my wounds. That was day 1.

Day 2 was much less painful. I was more careful when approaching the chocobo, learning from the previous day's lesson. Whenever I brought that grass underneath its beak, it turned its head away. That was rather disenhearting. I returned to see that chocobo four times that day, each time spending the best of twenty minutes trying to get the damned chicken to take a nip from my hands. On the third attempt, someone else came along to feed the same chocobo, and had no trouble doing so. Gosh, I was fuming at that point.

The third day started off much like the second. Still no positive outlook coming out of my first two attempts... I was about to retire from my third try that day, when...

Flaru >> Hiyataru!
Coeurl >> ...Do I know y...
Coeurl >> Hey! I *DO* know you!
Flaru >> How's it going kitty?

Coeurl collapses to the ground in exhaustion
Coeurl starts to cry

(Sidenote : had to edit this last part upon Flaru's request. Apparently I wasn't as well composed as I remembered.)

Coeurl >> I can't do it!!! It's too difficult!
Flaru >> ...Brutus got you on feeding duty, didn't he?
Coeurl >> YES!!! And it's unbearable!!!
Coeurl >> That rotten twat won't eat a thing from me!!!
Flaru >> Yah, that one looks a bit spoiled...
Coeurl >> This is so unfair!!!
Flaru >> Coeurly?
Coeurl >> *sniff* what?
Flaru >> Have you tried spoiling it?
Coeurl >> Isn't giving it expensive food enough spoiling already?
Flaru >> Nah, I'm not talking about that kind of spoiling.
Flaru >> I was more thinking about giving it more attention.
Coeurl >> ...How do I do that?
Flaru >> Oh, it's not much hard, watch me.

Flaru moved up to the chocobo, and started rubbing its belly. At first, the chocobo's eyes stayed glazed with boredom, but slowly it started to gain vitality, its neck stretching up, eyelids closing in pleasure, wings starting to bat, and letting out what seemed to be a happy wark.

Flaru >> There-there...

Flaru slowed down his rubbing while moving slowly up its belly as far as he could reach. At that moment, as responding to some obscure cue, the chocobo sat down on the ground, its head turning to the small Tarutaru giving him that gentle rubbing treatment. At that point, Flaru started scratching the yellow bird's head, which seemed to find that extremely pleasurable.

Flaru >> Okay Coeurly, take over.
Coeurl >> wh-what?
Flaru >> Look, he's feeling cuddly right now.
Flaru >> start rubbing his head softly here.
Coeurl >> Are you sure? You seem to handle it well.
Flaru >> Looky-here, you want to feed that chocky its grass?
Coeurl >> Yah, b-but...
Flaru >> C'm'on, try it! What's the worst that could happen?
Coeurl >> ...being pecked to death?
Flaru >> Oh, don't-ar-you worry about that, I'll be right here.
Flaru >> Now, start scratching it slowly right here.

As my trembling hand landed on top of the chocobo's head, I could feel the beast of burden tensing up.

Flaru >> Don't fret-aru, just scratch its head softly
Flaru >> and do it in the same direction as the feathers.

After a moment of uneasiness, the chocobo's tension faded away magically, as it didn't seem to mind the switch between me and Flaru. And the more the chocobo calmed down, the more I was doing the same.

Flaru >> Okay, now, don't stop rubbing its head,
Flaru >> and gently put the gausebit grass under its beak.
Flaru >> He might pinch your hand a bit while eating it,
Flaru >> but he's tamed right now, so don't worry about losing a finger.

Indeed, it felt pinchy a bit, as its beak did come into contact with my outstretched hand, but it did seem to know when to stop as if it was sensing when he was hurting me. It was like a bond had been made between me and it. I continued scratching it as it started licking the last crumps in my hand. I couldn't help but giggle a bit so much that felt tickly. Suddenly, the chocobo stood tall once more, batting its wings, warking in joy.

Flaru >> Best if you ruffle its neck a bit.

Coeurl ruffles the chocobo's neck feathers

Flaru >> Now say "There's a good girl!"
Coeurl >> ...You want me to talk to a chocobo?
Flaru >> Why not? They like the attention a lot.
Coeurl >> ...
Coeurl >> ...good girl, good girl.

Coeurl blushes in embarassment
Coeurl quickly looks around if no one saw her talking to an animal

Flaru >> See? It's not that hard!
Coeurl >> Gosh... I really don't know how to thank you...
Flaru >> There's an easy way.

Coeurl braces up for the impact

Flaru >> Just say "Thank you!"
Coeurl >> ...Thank you Flaru!
Flaru >> Like you mean it!
Coeurl >> But I did mean it!!

Flaru giggles uncontrollably

The next two days went without a hitch. Following Flaru's advice, it was much easier to get the chocobo in the mood for eating the grass right out of my hand. If only I could have done more than one feeding a day, that would have been much quicker. But it seems chocobos don't like eating from the same hand more than once a day, for some odd reason. After the third day, Brutus gave me my riding licence without adding any new tasks as prerequisites, as promised. He even seemed happy to give me that licence. I guess I'll never be able to understand those people with a natural inclination towards being positive all the time. I still wonder what gets him to keep a smile on his face from day to day...

...At least, I have my licence now! I can ride a chocobo!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! =^-^=