Walk in the Sand

Walking out in Valkurm Dunes was definitely not pleasant. If I were to describe the experience to someone new to the place, I'd probably say it's sandy beaches loitered by training parties, with a few corpses splattered here and there. It's also somewhere people start partying for the first time, so you have to be ready for a bit of confrontation between the older generations and the newbies who felt like runts as they didn't knew much about partying. Add a bit of spice of stupidity for those few people who think they know what they're doing, even though they have no experience whatsoever building a party from the ground up.

However, that wasn't the first experience I got, for the moment I stepped outside, I got greeted by a convention of goblins. I dare anyone to say that having your flesh torn by swords and bones crushed by staves, with a few Fires and Stonegas thrown into the mix is a pleasant experience. To the goblins' credit, the pain didn't last very long, they were incredibly effective in what they did to me.

How did I walk into that mix? Thing is, Vana'diel is divided into "zones", and our crystal shards pick up on those delimitations. The moment we walk from one such zone to another, we feel so disoriented we can't really figure what we're doing at the time. It's a small price to pay for being adventurers. So obviously, word got through Selbina rather quickly, and people were standing, sitting and resting near the zoneline leading to Valkurm Dunes, waiting for some messiah to clear the way. Eventually, we got greeted by good news, as we were told some higher-tier adventurers cleared the goblin barricade outside town.

...anyways, I finally got to sit down outside the city's zone, still dazed from both the zoning and the ghost-like pain of 6 swords skewering me from different angles, and signaled on my crystal shard that I was an adventuress actively looking for a group to train together. So I waited...

And... got an invitation rather quickly, in all honesty. Back then, I thought that was pretty much standard behavior, but my years of experience would later tell me I was lucky... in a sense. For in the other sense, my first party would steel me for the first time when it came to expectations from other adventurers. And yet, I really should have known, just by the name of the person who invited me. It was a mithra going by the name of...

...Analcarrot.

Coeurl >> Did your mom felt like shit the day you were born?

I'm not that cruel though. I didn't put any mind to making witty remarks, though I did think of a few. I mean, who in the right mind would call their daughter Analcarrot? What kind of vindictative attitude does it take to slap an ill-bearing name to scar one youth's whole life? I'm sure the poor soul has suffered since her first day at school.

Teacher >> Hello! We have a new student today, and her name's...
Teacher >> ...oh gosh, you've got to be kidding me...
Teacher >> ...Analcarrot?
Student1 >> I love carrots!
Student2 >> San d'Orian are my favorites!
Student1 >> ...where do anal carrots come from?

Oh... how the truth would have scarred them. But still, not as much as that Analcarrot's youth must have been. How do you go about explaining to all your friends (if you made any) how you got such an assy name? I mean, no shit... I decided to not compound to that young lady's suffering. I'm sure having dealt with so much crap in one's life has built some character and thick skin. So I accepted the invitation, and following instructions from my adventurer's guide to partying, I made my way to the blue dot indicators projected onto the map from my crystal shard. Those things are awfully practical when you know how to use them. Upon arrival at the camp, I saw we were already 4 up out of the potential 6 party members the manual stated as standard partying procedure, so we had time to unwind a bit. I was also greeted by that silver-haired mithra leader.

(please take note, this isn't the actual log of the events. It happened so long ago that I have to fill in the blanks with the impressions I have left from them. So my apologies to Analcarrot, I might be overexagerating... a tad bit.)

Analcarrot >> Hay!!! weir seestarz!
Coeurl >> ...pardon?
Analcarrot >> weir boat meatrah teevz!

Coeurl stares blankly at Analcarrot

Whatever "understanding" and "compassion" I had for that girl just jumped out the window, and fled beyond the horizon. I swear, I wasn't entirely sure if it was the humidity on the beach, but it looked like she was drooling when she was speaking... I started having doubts about the party's possibility of standing ground against the monsters we were supposed to fight. Again, according to my manual, we were supposed to be fighting monsters that would totally rape our asses... (must stop making those lame jokes...) that would deal us a swift death if we were to fight them by ourselves, but by our combined efforts and proper party dynamics, have the outcome reversed with us standing victorious. So far we were up to a setup of THF, THF, WHM and DRK.

DarkKnight >> Who's going to tank?
Analcarrot >> wutz a tenk?
DarkKnight >> ...ooooh boy...

WhiteMage >> Anyone else coming?
Analcarrot >> lolz eim loukeen!
WhiteMage >> There's a Warrior looking for a group, how 'bout him?
Analcarrot >> ei dun see eem?
WhiteMage >> He's in LaTheine Plateau
Analcarrot >> ukay, sant eenveit

Coeurl >> Gosh, this is taking a while...
Analcarrot >> pooleen Goblin Leecher, gait raidee!!!
WhiteMage >> <(O.O)>!!!
DarkKnight >> -.-;
Coeurl >> =o_0=?!?

Pandemonium followed shortly after. Lots of pandemonium followed. The Dark Knight valiantly provoked it. The White Mage tried to cure him best he could, I tried landing a Sneak Attack, but the goblin kept darting left and right. We wore it down to 60% HPs, when a gobbie bomb detered our will to make a stand. The Dark Knight shouted "ZONE!!!", the White Mage was in the middle of a cure and pulled hate, the Warrior went "What the hell?" when he zoned into Valkurm Dunes... In the end, the White Mage was smart enough to call for help on the goblin, and as we neared the zone to Selbina, some higher levels doing guard duty saved us from a grim fate.

DarkKnight >> What the hell were you thinking?!?
DarkKnight >> Couldn't you wait until we got a full PT?
Analcarrot >> Butt Coe sed 2 pool!
Coeurl >> ...Huh?!?
WhiteMage >> ...Let me check the log.
Coeurl >> I never said anything like that.
WhiteMage >> Coeurl said, and I quote,
WhiteMage >> "Gosh, this is taking a while..."
Analcarrot >> toul j0
WhiteMage >> No, she never said we should fight anything
Coeurl >> ...You understand that kind of gibberish talk?
WhiteMage >> I have a long career as an adventurer,
WhiteMage >> I'm a bit fluent in l33t
WhiteMage >> though this one's a bit harder to understand.
Coeurl >> O...kay?
Analcarrot >> neweiss, wii kuld av teiken eet
Analcarrot >> wii wur 4 hageinst wun.
WhiteMage >> <(-.-)>;
Warrior >> u guys ok?
DarkKnight >> I wish I could say yes...
Warrior >> If u dun mind, I think I'll look for Nother group
DarkKnight >> Yah... I think it would be for the best
Whitemage >> Alrightaru, {Disbanding Party}
Analcarrot >> Butt u kent deesbend, eim teh leedar!

Warrior has left the party
DarkKnight has left the party
WhiteMage has left the party

Again, on a teethering board between two choices...

Analcarrot >> plz dun leev mii seestarz!!!

Coeurl has left the party

...Did she had to make the choice so obvious? Walking back towards Selbina, I decided to sit back again near the outer gate, with my LFG flag back up, in the hopes I would get an invitation from someone who had less unscrewed bolts in her head.

WhiteMage >> {Party}? <(^-^)>